Being a pastor — a high-profile, high-stress job with nearly impossible expectations for success — can send one down the road to depression, according to pastoral counselors.

Article on pastors commiting suicide, in USA Today.

:"Those who counsel pastors say Christian culture, especially Southern evangelicalism, creates the perfect environment for depression. Pastors suffer in silence, unwilling or unable to seek help or even talk about it. Sometimes they leave the ministry. Occasionally the result is the unthinkable."

And:

"You can't talk about it before it happens and you can't talk about it after it happens," said Monty Hale, director of pastoral ministries for the South Carolina Baptist Convention.

Very sad.

Pew etiquette

I often mused on the subject of pew etiquette during my year of visiting churches, partly because I was consciously trying to observe how people in various congregations “did church,” and partly because, as a constant newcomer, I was a little worried about violating unknown rules.

I’m not talking about sitting in the wrong pew. Everyone has heard jokes about that – visitors sit in the fourth pew from the front on the left, and the family that usually sits there every week is offended and discombobulated – someone is sitting in OUR pew! Oh no - what should we do? I suspect that I was guilty of usurping someone’s accustomed seat on one or two occasions during my year of visiting, but it couldn’t have been much of a problem in most churches, since almost all of them had plenty of empty pews to spare. But some churches had a healthy number of folks sitting in the pews, and those are the occasions when I observed the kind of bad pew etiquette that bothers me.

Ten minutes before the service begins, most churches have a seating pattern that looks like the diagram above.

Everyone who arrives after this must either sit in the three empty pews at the front (which no one wants to do), or petition the Defenders of the Aisle Seats for admittance. Most pews are placed so close together that you can’t walk past the people on the ends to get to the middle. The Defenders sometimes get up and stand on the side, enabling newcomers to walk to the middle. More polite folks don’t force the newcomers to the middle of the pew -- they slide toward the middle themselves.

Then there is the problem of inadequate pew-sliding. How many times have I witnessed this ridiculous pantomime! For example, say there is a family of three sitting on the aisle, and another family of three comes along and begs permission to please sit down. The first family politely scootches over to give the second family a place to sit.

Only – and this seems to happen EVERY SINGLE TIME – they never scootch over enough. The person farthest from the aisle moves over about the distance of one and one half butt cheeks, and the next person follows suit, except a little less, and so forth. The first member of the second family then tries to sit down, but it’s a tight fit, and then the first family begins another round of unsatisfactory scootching, and this is followed by a third or fourth round, until finally both families are seated. They are usually still too close to each other, and as soon as everyone rises for the first hymn, the whole gaggle takes another step to the left or right, depending on which side of the aisle they are on, and finally everyone is sitting in some semblance of comfort. AND THEN THIS HAPPENS AGAIN NEXT WEEK.

Therefore, I have advice for churches that would like to be more visitor-friendly, from the perspective of a constant visitor.

Unless you know perfectly well that you will have plenty of empty pews available at every service, why not ask people to scootch over toward the middle of the pew if they arrive first? Make it easy for people to find a seat, visitors and members alike. Don’t have every pew blocked on both ends by the Defenders of the Aisle Seats. It’s discouraging, and unfriendly, and really, really unnecessary.

And, of course, it will never change.

The least, the last, and the lost

First United Methodist Church

Collingswood, New Jersey
September 2, 2007


This week I tried another Methodist church. I had intended to branch out further afield, but I procrastinated and finally just chose a church very close to our apartment, one that wouldn’t necessitate looking up driving directions: First United Methodist Church of Collingswood. I knew where it was, and I knew that they have an 8:30 service, so I just drove over there a few minutes before the service began.

First United Methodist Church of Collingswood is an attractive stone structure in a quiet residential area, featuring a big square bell tower and large stained glass windows. I think I’m beginning to be able to date some of these churches at first sight. I’ll bet this one was built around the turn of the nineteenth century – it looks of that era. 1890 through 1930 seem to have been years when many large, impressive churches were constructed in this area, built of blocks of massive stone, usually with bell towers and gorgeous stained glass. And most of those big churches also have an addition attached, an education building added to the sanctuary in the 1950s or 1960s, around the time of the last big surge in church membership in America. First United Methodist of Collingswood looks as though it fits that pattern.

A hand-lettered sign outside the building tells me that the 8:30 service features contemporary worship. I notice that there is no parking lot – another good indicator that my guess about the church’s founding date is correct.

Giving the children's bread to dogs

On August 8 I was in Lancaster, Pennsylvania visiting my daughter and grandchildren, and I did not have a car or an easy way to get to any church on Sunday morning. So I decided to try television religious shows. I didn’t have a chance to do any research ahead of time, on the Internet or in any other way. I just turned on the television and looked for religious programming. The first one I found was a local broadcast: “Stand Up for Jesus,” featuring Pastor Buddy Flosser, pastor of Faith Tabernacle in Lancaster.

When the program begins we see Pastor Flosser in the pulpit,; his first words are “Greetings, everyone, in the wonderful name of Jesus.” There is some kind of shadowy background behind him. He informs us that this show is a ministry that his father began, and which he is now trying to continue. He lets viewers know that they can come see him preach at Faith Tabernacle at 2:00 pm on Sundays. The reason for the late service time is that he also pastors another church, in Havre de Grace, Maryland – Bethel Apostolic Church. That is a rough traveling schedule!

He asks viewers to send in prayer requests, and also lets us know that we can request prayer cloths. He reminds us that the program is a faith ministry and needs our financial support. He notes that giving money to the program will bring heavenly rewards: “You will be right there when the rewards are given out, because you helped us stay on the air.”