Turning down the thermostat

It all started around 1:00 am on Saturday, when I woke up and realized that the bedroom was nice and toasty.

Oh no, I thought. This is not right. This is a waste of money, since all three of us are snugly wrapped up in our down comforters. I should go downstairs and set the thermostat lower.

I've done this hundreds of times. I'm Miss Frugal with the thermostat. I'm the Wee Hours Heat Regulator.

Also, since I've lived in this house for many years, I have no need to turn on lights. I can find my way around in the dark. Easy peasy.

Until the moment I tripped on the stairs, and felt some kind of weird searing pain in my left foot, and stumbled the rest of the way downstairs, in a bit of a shock.

How bad could it be? I thought, slightly stunned by the pain. I didn't even fall down, just stumbled a little. I set the thermostat lower and limped back upstairs. I'll just go back to sleep and this will be fine in the morning.

Thirty seconds pass.

There's no chance I'm going to fall asleep with my foot in this kind of agony. Better take some aspirin.

Because we are not sensible people, there are no bottles of aspirin in the bathroom on the same floor as the bedroom. The aspirin bottle is in the kitchen. So, back downstairs. This time I turn on the lights.

What the - ???

There is a tidy trail of blood up and down the carpet on the stairs, leading over to the thermostat in the living room and back again. Almost like a diagram - Dotted Line Indicates Path Taken by Idiot.

I examine my left foot, and see that blood is seeping out all along the edges of the toenail of my big toe. I surmise that I have torn the nail loose from the nailbed. This is creepy.

Well, I'll just take the aspirin, rinse the toe well, and put on a band-aid. Blot up all the blood spots on the carpet, and get back to sleep.

Done and done. Back to bed.

Good god almighty! I can't bear the weight of even a sheet on my foot, let alone a comforter.

All right. Don't panic. I'll sleep outside the covers.

This is when I suddenly realize that the room is now freezing cold. Wonderfully, frugally cold.

Aaargh. Back downstairs to turn up the thermostat.

Epilogue

Went to the doctor this afternoon. My toe is broken. There was infection under the nail, and the nail was removed. I am in for a couple weeks of daily soakings and dressings and other lovely procedures. On the plus side, I may have saved ten cents on the heating bill.